How to Give Your Partner a Great Massage


Learning how to give your partner a great massage is an indispensable skill for your relationship! In the modern whirlwind of life, intimate moments with our partners often take a back seat to the demands of work, family, and responsibilities. Yet, there's a simple and approachable path to fostering a deeper connection—through the art of massage. More than just a physical touch, a massage has the power to kindle flames of intimacy and strengthen the emotional bonds between partners. 

Beyond the soothing sensations, massage and physical touch unlock a world of profound benefits. Scientifically proven to lower stress hormones, they elevate mood, bolster immune function, and promote relaxation. For many, this connection fosters emotional intimacy which is SO important in today's fast-paced and ever-changing world. With the touch of a hand, our oxytocin surges making us feel happy and connected. Whether easing muscle tension or nurturing emotional ties, the magic of touch is a timeless gift you can both cherish while elevating your well-being and enriching your relationship.

Let’s go through some secrets on how to give your partner a truly memorable massage experience. So, light those candles, gather your courage, and let the relaxation and connection begin!

Set the Scene: Creating Your Massage Haven

Putting some extra thought into your setup makes a world of a difference and can set the stage for the ambiance. Imagine the perfect tranquil setup where time stands still and your partner's well-being is the sole focus! Making it happen is easier than you think. To begin, pick a cozy spot where you can both unwind without distractions. Whether it's your living room, bedroom, or a dedicated massage corner, the most important thing is that you’re both comfortable and you’ll have privacy for an extended period of time.

Before diving into the massage, it’s a good idea to have towels nearby in case of any spills and to keep a tidy space. They’re also a handy tool to add additional support and comfort for your partner! To elevate the ambiance, we love lighting a few candles to offer a gentle light while giving a delicious smell to enjoy throughout the experience.


Use a Massage Oil

A key element in a great massage is the choice of massage oil. Think of it as the golden elixir that nourishes both the skin and the senses. Opt for natural, neutral oils like coconut oil or jojoba oil. These not only allow your hands to glide smoothly across your partner’s skin but will also deeply hydrate and nurture their skin, leaving it soft and supple.

You can also opt for a store-bought massage oil, the most important thing is that it’s suitable for both your’s and your partner’s skin and it’s not heavily perfumed to avoid any skin irritation.

Incorporate Aromatherapy

If you want a tip from the pro’s, adding some essential oils to your massage oil can seriously elevate your experience! Adding a few drops of essential oil to your massage oil can create a multisensory experience that's both soothing and invigorating. Not only that, both you and your partner can benefit from the wonderful effects of aromatherapy.

For a refreshing burst, consider scents like mandarin and eucalyptus. These awaken the senses and revitalize the spirit. To set a more intimate and romantic mood, you can opt for the delicious scent of warm sandalwood or gentle rose. The intertwining dance of touch and aroma creates a soothing and calm atmosphere for all the senses!

Know Your Basic Technique: The Art of Touch

While you may not be a certified masseuse, mastering a few basic techniques can transform your massage from blah to wow! Here are some foundational techniques to help get you started:

  • Slow Up-and-Down Movements: Begin the massage with long, sweeping strokes along the body. This technique introduces your partner to the massage, preparing their muscles for deeper touch. The gliding motion warms up the muscles and primes the body for more focused techniques.
  • Kneading: Kneading is like sculpting the tension away. Using your palms, fingers, and thumbs, gently press, lift, and roll the muscles. This rhythmic motion enhances circulation, relieves knots, and soothes the body into a state of relaxation. Kind of like molding a piece of clay, kneading until it yields to your touch.
  • Friction: Friction is your secret weapon against stubborn knots. Apply pressure using your fingertips or knuckles in small, circular motions. This technique targets specific areas of tension, releasing muscle adhesions while inviting a profound sense of relief.
  • Petrissage: Petrissage is a bit like kneading's sophisticated cousin. Do this by using a gentle squeezing and rolling motion to manipulate deeper layers of muscle. Petrissage improves flexibility, alleviates stiffness, and fosters relaxation by following the body's natural contours.

Level up your massage game: if you want to refine your skills for your partner, join our Couple’s Massage Classes while I’ll be hosting in the coming months! Limited spots are available so please book soon.



Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!

As you embark on this journey of touch and connection, remember that communication is your compass. As a Registered Massage Therapist myself, I regularly check in with clients to make sure that what I’m doing feels right to them. We are each in charge of our own bodies since no one else can feel what we’re feeling, so communication is absolutely key. 

Encourage your partner to speak openly about what they like and don’t like so you can both work towards improving the experience together!

Stay Present

Beyond the physical aspect, massage is an act of emotional intimacy. In a world buzzing with distractions, being present in the moment is a precious gift to cherish. Let go of your worries, tasks, and to-do lists so you can focus on being in the moment with your partner. You may even start to worry and get in your head about other things on the go, but remind yourself that you too, deserve a break from your neverending to-do list. That list isn’t going anywhere, it will be there tomorrow! So take a break to connect with your and enjoy your time together.

Have Fun

At its core, a massage is a shared experience. When you’re trying something new, it’s easy to get in your head and worry about whether you’re doing a good enough job. At the end of the day, the intention of this is to enjoy your time together and do what makes your heart happy. Let laughter be your guide! Don’t be afraid to try something new and ask for feedback. Trying new experiences with our loved ones is a great way to deepen emotional connection, so have fun while you’re at it.

In our fast-paced society, nurturing connection is an art we must master. Through the gentle power of touch, a massage becomes more than a physical experience, it’s a chance to connect with our partner and build on your relationship together. I hope this newfound knowledge can be your compass to uncharted moments of togetherness! Revisit this guide as much as you need, explore new techniques, and let the massage sessions become a cherished tradition.

Want to take your massages a step further?

Sign up for our Private Couple’s Massage Classes led by a professional RMT who will teach you the techniques you need to know and also provide feedback.